Aa. Vai Jaa. Saa. - A Konkani Childrens' Movie with a Message

This is my first movie review. I don't watch movies since many years, unless I am specifically invited by someone and they ask me to cast my opinion about their movies. This is a special case, because the person who directed the movie is special to me. He is not only a family friend, but is also my role model who inspired me to take to sound recording and video movie production! He is none other than Dr. K. Ramesh Kamath, the sound recordist who turned film director, entrepreneur and vastu yogi. He also has the fame of directing the very first Saraswat Konkani film 'Jana Mana'.

When I first saw Dr. K. Ramesh Kamath active on social media about 6 years ago, I had the least imagination that he was the same Ramesh Kamath who had graduated from the Film and Television Institute of India, Pune, specialising in Sound Recording! There was a reason, and that reason was, Dr. Kamath prefixed the title 'Vastu Yogi' to his name. I don't have the habit of getting too personal with people, or asking directly about their past, but when Dr. Kamath became my friend on Facebook, I slowly developed a doubt that this could be the same Ramesh Kamath whom my brother Krishnakanth had been telling me about, in 1972! Dr. Kamath's wife Kiranmayi Kamath was already in my friend list, and when she asked me one day about the whereabouts of my brother who was a friend of Dr. Kamath in Mysore during his medical studies, I could complete the jigsaw puzzle and be affirmed about who Vastu Yogi Kamath was!

I was overjoyed to have him as my facebook friend for two reasons.

1. In 1972 as soon as I completed SSLC and was thinking about future studies, my brother Krishnakanth told me about the promising job oriented course at FTII Pune, with which his friend Ramesh Kamath had graduated.

2. I was not allowed to join FTII then, but I worked for a Bank for 22 years and in the Eighies when I saw the first Saraswat Konkani film 'Jana Mana' directed by Ramesh Kamath on Doordarshan, I developed great respect for him. He had become a film director from sound recordist already in 1980!

Dr. Kamath also fondly remembered his hey days in the early Seventies when he along with Dr. P. Dayananda Pai the famous Konkani tycoon and philanthropist, had played my late father Kudpi Vasudeva Shenoy's Konkani drama 'Dolyaan Khelu' in Mysore during the Ganesha Festival.

So, my urge to meet Dr. K. Ramesh Kamath(Vastu Yogi) in person multiplied when I interacted with him on Facebook for over 6 years, but we never had a chance to meet in spite of me visiting Bengaluru and him visiting Mangaluru often!

Then one day I received a private message from him, explaining about his plans to make the second and 'last Konkani film of his life', this time with a theme suited for children, a simple story with a message for meaningful living. He also said, name of the movie 'Aa. Vai. Jaa. Saa.' may sound odd, but it had meaning wihin and that is the main theme of the movie. He was already through with the story and script, he had chosen a few actors already and was scheduled for shooting during the end April this year at Udupi, Kallianpur and surrounding places. He also asked me whether I am interested in doing a role, he sought my assistance with media contacts and I assured him the best of my support and also gave him contact addresses, phone numbers and email addresses of those media friends whom I knew personally. That was the least I could do for him or our mother tongue Konkani. Acting part remained a suspense for me, as Dr. Kamath does quick thinking and he went full swing with the shooting schedule as he had planned it, and before I could think or wink, he started updating about the progress of the film shooting, editing, dubbing and other technical aspects!

Well, Dr. Kamath is a dedicated person who leaves no stone unturned when it comes to film making. He employed a good technical crew, camped in and around Udupi and completed the work amazingly faster than expected, using the latest technology, that is Drone camera for aerial shots. He also went for digital editing and mixing, audio dubbing done in Mangaluru and Bengaluru and post processing done entirely in Bengaluru.

When the North American Konkani Convention was held in Atlanta in early July this year, Dr. Kamath had the previlege of screening the preview of the film Aa. Vai. Jaa. Saa. there and he called it World Premier. He was honoured with accolades there by the organisers and the delegates, and his dream of taking Konkani film to global level was thus fulfilled!  

What a way to start!

Then the film certification by the censor board was a cakewalk, as the movie had zero violence, no masala, no rape, no fights, no romantic scenes, rather no stereotype scenes that one may expect in Indian Commercial Cinema! This is more like a documentary film with a good message rather than a commercial formula.

Thus Dr. K. Ramesh Kamath's dream came true, and the film was set for release in Mangaluru first. Dr. Kamath booked Bharath Big Cinemas for three free shows on August 9, 10 and 11 apart from a special Grand Premier on August 6. All the shows have been sponsored by Konkani entrepreneurs and philanthropists who always supported any activities undertaken by Konkani scholars.

Dr. Kamath called me and personally invited me over phone, and thus I had the honour and privelege of watching the movie on August 6 as guest at the Grand Premier, and it was also the first time that I met Dr. Kamath in person!

Left to right: Dr. Ramesh Kamath, Gopinath Bhat, Kudpi Raj and Kemthur Kamath

It was an emotional meeting when Dr. Kamath received me in the lounge of Bharath Big Cinemas at around 5:30pm on August 6, and first thing he did was to hug me tight and say "This is for real! I am so happy to meet you in person, Kudpi Ji! Please watch the movie and give me your honest reveiw. I deem you opinion valuable!"

That was more than graduation for me from FTII when those words came from a great scholar Dr. Kamath's mouth, and he was candid in his expression. His broad smile and energy levels amazed me! His simplicity blew me off! One dream of mine to meet my role model was fulfilled. Next remained the herculean task of reviewing his film!

With Dr. Ramesh Kamath, Nagendra Rao, Pramod Kamath, Kemthur Kamath and Karthik Shenoy

The show began after welcome speech by Dr. Kamath and formal speeches by a few guests of honour such as Dr. Richard Castelino the noted film director and Konkani Sardar Basti Vaman Shenoy. They appreciated the job done by Dr. Kamath almost at the dusk of his career as film director, that too directing a Konkani Childrens' Movie. Dr. B. Devadas Pai, Registrar of Karnataka Konkani Sahitya Academy, partner of Taj Mahal Cafe Kudpi Madhava Shenoy, Editor of Kodial Khaber M Venkatesh Baliga, actor Dinesh Prabhu and other dignitaries were present on the dais. 

Dignitaries on the dais before the show began

Review of Aa. Vai. Jaa. Saa.:
Aa. Vai. Jaa. Saa. is produced by Film India Productions, led by a youngster Ms. Mallika. Film India Productins is a film production company registered at the Karnataka Film Chamber of Commerce. Though Aa. Vai. Jaa. Saa. is the first Konkani film produced by Film India Productions, Ms. Mallika has the experience of working as production incharge of Kannada films like Prema Kavya, Sanjeyalli Aralida Hoovu and Muttina Pallakki.

Dr. K. Ramesh Kamath, the director of the film is a graduate from FTII Pune, and his earlier Konkani film 'Jana Mana' released in 1980 has won hearts of Konkani critics the world over. That film was also recognised as the first Sarawat Konnkani film produced. After 36 years he has directed the third Konkani film, his second. Second one was 'Ujwaadu' produced by Mitra Media under the partnership of Dhananjaya and Anuradha Padiyar, directed by Kasargodu Chinna which won National Award for a regional language film.

Theme: Theme of the film is simple. It is based on the Four 'S' principles of life, AAdhyatmik(Spiritual), VAIjnanik(Scientific), JAAtyatit(Secular) and SAAmajik(Social). Abbreviations of these four principles for a meaningful living Aa. Vai. Jaa. Saa. complete the title of the movie!

The story revolves around four brilliant, talented students of a school in Kallianpur, Udupi. The school conducts extra-curricular activities from time to time, to make the students all rounders in every respect. The four students, a Hindu, a Muslim, a Christian and a Dalit win a fancy dress competition with their own themes Aadhyatmik, Vaijnanik, Jaatyatit and Saamajik. They are recognised by the patron of the school, Sathya Swami, who has an ashram where he preaches values of life through his own principals 'Aa. Vai. Jaa. Saa.' and he adopts the four children and makes them develop the art of self realisation and serving humanity by using their respective passions combined to bring peace and harmony which is need of the hour in present day uncertainty where people fight among each others in the name of religion, blind belief, hatred, jealousy and misery.

He takes them to his ashram and through a magician explains them the importance of those four principles, quoting examples of noted people who helped build a strong India. He also teaches them to lead the path of tolerance for each others' religion caste and social status. Thus they become role models for their school, and during subsequent picnics they learn many things, they also try and rehabilitate their arrogant or misled parents! How well they succeed in bringing changes in the society using Dr. Kamath's formula inculcating the four 'S' elements Aa. Vai. Jaa. Saa. is to be seen on the big screen to be understood fully.

Cultural arts of undivided Dakshina Kannada district such as Yakshagaana and Puppet Show(Uppinakudru Bombeyaata) have been exhibited in the film. A trip to 'Snehalaya', charitable home for the destitute run by Joseph Cresta has been highlighted. Beauty of nature, forest, sea, beaches and and St Mary's Island have been captured with drone camera, and the cinematographer has done a wonderful job. Witchcraft, darshana and perils of alcoholism have been cleverly touched, educating the younger generation about the social awareness they should develop. A Kannada moral story that I had read in my late father's Ondaanemaale book named "Eejalu Tilidideye?" about a scholar visiting a village, crossing the river while testing the boat operator about his qualifications has been well enacted by Gopinath Bhat, veteran stage and film actor. Muslim donating blood to save a Hindu Brahmin priest has been meaningfully picturised. 

Dr. Ramesh Kamath has acted as the sutradhar 'Sathya Swami', and has done full justice to his role. The four children played by Sarthak Shenoy, Shreyas Kamath, Samarth Shenoy and Spandana V. Pai have acted very well. Rest of the main actors, Vasudha Prabhu, Zita Usha Fernandes, Karthik Shenoy, Dinesh Prabhu(He was the hero of Dr. Kamath's earlier film Jana Mana as well), P.R. Nayak, Dr, Mahesh Shenoy, Chempi Ramachandra Bhat, Sathish and Santhosh Kullappa Pai, Om Ganesh Kamath, Joseph Cresta and others have done justice to their roles. There are many first timers who have acted or contributed their voices, but they have done that honestly and without any monetary expectations. That is highly commendable.

Though the film has few minor technical glitches like voice dubbing synchronisation at places, considering the fact that it is a low budget movie spending just Rs.25 Lakhs and also the no profit motive by the producers and the director, the movie is worth watching. The theme being mainly communal harmony and social integrity through scientific outlook, is worth considering for a National Award, and I hope and wish the team success in this direction.

The film runs for 73.22 minutes and has one main theme song sung by Shankar Shanbhogue, Mahalaxmi Shenoy, Ankit Kundu and Abhinav. Background score is by Diwaan Giridhar and MM Yashas. 

Other technical details:
Story, Screenplay, Lyrics, Direction: Dr. K. Ramesh Kamath
Assistant Director: Karthik Shenoy
Production: Mallika, Film India Productions
Cinematography: Ramesh Koira
Editor: Arun P Thomas
Art Direction: Swamy
Costume Designers: Vinutha Kiran, Kemthur Kamath
Sound recording/Mixing(DTS): Abhinath
Sound Dubbing: Shinoy V Joseph, CAD Media
Publicity Design: Sanjay Chapolkar
Colour Grading and DI: Mathew

Going Nuts over Spring

Pic source: www.currylore.com 

"Spend carefully, don't buy things that you can't digest, avoid oily stuff and make sure that you are not left hungry".

Those were the words spoken by our father as he gave 50 Paise each, to me and my brother Radhakanth for spending over coffee and snacks at a make shift canteen at our school, Besant Basic School on MG Road, Mangalore. That was Tuesday the February 22, and it was the annual 'Vasantotsava' or Spring Festival of 1966 celebrated in the school. Variety entertainment and the food stall made it more attractive than school day. We never missed that day for the initial five years we spent in that school.

As we walked up the MG Road passing by the green paddy fields on either side, Radhakanth said "They must be having quite a few food items there. I would prefer to eat some halwa, some snack and have lemon juice. What is your idea?"

I was not sure myself. I told him that I shall decide after seeing the canteen.

We reached school little after 5:45PM and the entertainments were to begin at 6:00. I met my classmates Naveen Kini, Prasad Basri, Ravi Kumar, Sathish Kodialbail and Aravind Thodar. Radhakanth was looking here and there, and before I could turn around, he had disappeared and next I saw him in the make shift canteen set up in 5th Standard class room, sitting on a bench and eating something! He waved at me and signalled me to join him. I nodded my head and showed him my tummy, meaning I am full and I may eat something later! Radhakanth came out of the canteen, joined use and told me, "They have nice Wheat Halwa, Avalakki, Ambade, Sajjige, Sheera, Holige, Tukudi, Sherbat and coffee. I ate halwa, holige and drank sherbat. You can also do that. Each item costs 15 Paise. I still have 5 Paise left and I can use it for something tomorrow."

I was still not tempted to eat anything. Besides, couple of other classmates didn't have any pocket money with them. So, I didn't feel like depriving them!

Then the show began, some entertainment programme went on until 9:00PM. I was eyeing the other students entering and hogging at the canteen lit by petromax light but I could not make up my mind about spending the 50 Paise for anything at the canteen. After two or three rounds on the school ground peeping into the canteen to see the activities there, at 8:30PM they closed the canteen and I sighed with disappointment, that I could not have anything there! The description of the halwa, holige and sherbat made me drool, for I was feeling hungry already! Radhakanth was with Mahaveer and other friends; I was with Naveen, Prasad and Ravi when we returned home. As we approached Ballal Bagh and crossed Narayana Shetty's shop Lalbagh Stores, I saw 'Baayi's Shop' still open. It was almost 9:15PM then.

I asked Naveen "What can I take home with this 50 Paisa I have in my pocket?"

Naveen's eyes brightened, and he said, "Hey buy nelakadale..... peanuts. Baayi sells whole peanuts with shell for 50 Paise a Ser. All at home will be happy that you have brought peanuts, much more than anyone can even imagine! Your parents will feel proud, that you didn't spend the money for yourself, but you shared peanuts with them!"

Prasad and Ravi also nodded in approval, and I didn't hesitate to climb the three steps into Baayi's shop and ask for one ser peanuts! Baayi's eyes became as big as a car's headlight, and she seemed to be shocked! I repeated what I asked for, and showed her the Fifty Paise coin with a broad smile. She packed the peanuts in a large paper cone and handed it over to me.

I came home running with the pack, dashed straight into the hall into the dining section and handed over the pack to my mother. My three brothers who were having dinner were surprised to see that, and they exchanged gestures within themselves. Radhakanth was sitting beside my father who was relaxing at the other end of the hall smoking cigarette and reading English newspaper.

Mother was aghast when she saw the pack, and she asked me what it was. I jubilantly replied "Nelakadale. I got it from Baayi's shop. She gave one Ser for 50 Paise. We all can eat as much as we want!"

Mother announced to father "Look here I say! He has brought one ser peanuts instead of having snacks and coffee at school!"

Father kept his paper aside, stubbed the cigarette in ash tray, lifted his head and stared at me. Then he shouted "Are you crazy? I gave you money and told you to spend it carefully on snacks and drink at the school canteen and you brought peanuts? Learn something from your brother Radhakanth! He spent 45 Paise for snacks and a drink and also returned 5 Paise. Now go to Baayi's shop immediately and return the peanuts. Otherwise you are not allowed to enter the house!"

Radhakanth was making faces at me and smiling triumphantly!

I pleaded; I cried and tried all that I could, to convince my parents. When they didn’t respond favourably, I went out with the conical paper pack containing the peanuts, sat near the gate on the cement platform and started to sob. Across the MG Road in a distance, I could see Baayi just closing her shop. Nemanna appeared from nowhere, he was nearing me with unsteady steps.

Nemanna(Konde Nemiraj Shetty) was an eternal bachelor, a senior person related to our neighbours, staying in the outhouse behind our home. He had the habit of getting loaded with hooch daily and come home in an inebriated state.

He neared me, sat by my side and whispered with a strong breath that smelled like sapodilla fruit, "Appu…. Rajani.... why are you sitting here at late hours? Did you do anything wrong for which you are punished? Tell me what happened!"

I cried aloud and told him everything. He consoled me, held my hand and led me back to our main door. He knocked on the door and called for my father. Father appeared and asked Nemanna, "Why Nemanna? What happened?"

Nemanna was indignant, as he put me in front of him, "Kudpi sir, you did not do the right thing. I respect you for your age, wisdom and abilities. Sending this innocent boy out of home for none of his mistakes is wrong. I won't support that. He brought one Ser peanuts with a good intention of sharing them with all at home, suppressing his wants, his hunger. Please think about his sacrifice and don't punish the poor child. How can he return the peanuts at this hour when Baayi has closed her shop! He will return it tomorrow morning. Right Appu?"

I nodded while sniffs, tears and hiccups appeared then and now, the after effects of crying and feeling helpless!

Father looked at me and said "Nemanna, do you think I am cruel enough to punish my child? I just wanted to teach him the value of money and discipline in life. Had you not brought him in, I'd have done that myself after a few minutes. Anyway, forget the whole episode. We shall consume the peanuts tomorrow as punishment to this boy! Rajani my dear son, keep in mind that this is the last time you did mistake like this. You should not take liberties like this and buy just about anything out of your pocket money. You are too small to decide what you want. Your friends are not mature enough to guide you. Always obey your parents and be responsible in life. Now go inside, wash your hands, feet and face, change your clothes. Your amma is waiting to serve you dinner"

I did not fail to notice Nemanna and my father wink at one another and smile! I also could not understand why Radhakanth who spent his pocket money for himself was right, and I who brought a heap of peanuts for the entire family to enjoy, was wrong!

ಮಣ್ಣಗುಡ್ದೆ ದಿಡುಂ

ಎಪ್ಪತ್ತರ ದಶಕದ ಡಿಸೆಂಬರ್ ತಿಂಗಳ ಒಂದು ಬೆಳಿಗ್ಯೆ ನವಭಾರತ ದಿನಪತ್ರಿಕೆಯನ್ನು ಓದುತ್ತಿದ್ದ ನಾನು, ಕೊನೇಯ ಪುಟದಲ್ಲಿ 'ನಾಳೆ ಮಣ್ಣಗುಡ್ದೆಯಲ್ಲಿ ದಿಡುಂ' ಎಂಬ ಶೀರ್ಷಿಕೆಯನ್ನೋದಿ ಹೌಹಾರಿದೆನು!

ಹೌದು. ಪ್ರೊಫ್ ರೀಡರ್‍ಗಳ ಅಲಕ್ಷ್ಯದಿಂದಾಗಿಯೋ ಅಥವಾ ಹೆಚ್ಚಿನ ಹಳೇ ಕೈಗಳು ಮಣಿಪಾಲದಲ್ಲಿ ಹೊಸದಾಗಿ ಪ್ರಾರಂಭವಾದ ಉದಯವಾಣಿ ದಿನಪತ್ರಿಕೆಯತ್ತ ಆಕರ್ಷಿತರಾಗಿ ಅತ್ತ ನೆಗೆದ ಕಾರಣ ಅನುಭವಿಗಳ ಕೊರತೆಯಿಂದಾಗಿಯೋ ಅಂದಿನ ದಿನಗಳಲ್ಲಿ ನವಭಾರತ ಹಲವಾರು ತಪ್ಪುಗಳನ್ನು ಹೊತ್ತುಕೊಂಡು, ಸೋತು ಬಳಲಿ ನಮ್ಮ ಕೈಸೇರುತ್ತಿದ್ದುದಂತೂ ಹೌದು! ನಮಗಂತೂ ನವಭಾರತದಲ್ಲಿ ಪ್ರಕಟವಾಗುತ್ತಿದ್ದ  'ಶಿಂಗಣ್ಣಾ' ವ್ಯಂಗ್ಯಚಿತ್ರ, 'ಅರ್ಥಗರ್ಭಿತ ವಾರ್ತೆಗಳು' ಮತ್ತು ಸಿನೆಮಾ ಟಾಕೀಸುಗಳ ಜಾಹೀರಾತುಗಳನ್ನು ನೋಡದೇ ಬೆಳಗಾಗುತ್ತಿರಲಿಲ್ಲ! ಕ್ರೀಡಾಪುಟದಲ್ಲಿ ಚಂದ್ರಶೇಖರ್ ಚಿತ್ರಕ್ಕೆ ವೆಂಕಟರಾಘವನ್ ಹೆಸರು, 'ಜೋ ಡಾನ್ ಬೇಕರ್ ಆಸ್ ಮಿಚೆಲ್' ಎಂದು ಹಾಕಲು 'ಜೋ ಡಾನ್ ಮಿಚೆಲ್ ಬೇಕರೀಸ್' ಇತ್ಯಾದಿ ತಪ್ಪುಗಳನ್ನು ಕಾಸಿಗೊಂದು ಕೊಸರಿಗೊಂದರಂತೆ ನೀಡಿ, ಪುಕ್ಕಟೆ ಮನೋರಂಜನೆ ನೀಡುವ ದಿನಪತ್ರಿಕೆಯನ್ನು ನಾವು ಅದು ಹೇಗೆ ಓದದೇ ಇರಲು ಸಾಧ್ಯ....ಹೇಳಿ!

ಅಂದ ಹಾಗೆ, ಇದು ಕೇವಲ ನವಭಾರತದ ಬಗ್ಗೆ ಬರೆಯಲು ಉದ್ದೇಶಿಸಿದ ಲೇಖನವೆಂದು ಅನ್ಯಥಾ ಭಾವಿಸಬಾರದು. 'ಮಣ್ಣಗುಡ್ದೆಯಲ್ಲಿ ದಿಡುಂ' ಒಂದು ಉಲ್ಲೇಖ ಅಷ್ಟೇ! ಮಣ್ಣಗುಡ್ದೆ ದಿಂಡು ನಾಳೆ ಅನ್ನುವಾಗ ಇಂದು 'ದಿಡುಂ' ಎಂದು ಗರ್ನಾಲ್ ಸ್ಫೋಟಿಸಿ ನಮ್ಮನ್ನು ಹೌಹಾರಿಸಿದ್ದಕ್ಕಾಗಿ ನಾನು ನವಭಾರತವನ್ನು ಉಲ್ಲೇಖಿಸಬೇಕಾಯಿತು.

ಮಣ್ಣಗುಡ್ದೆ ದಿಂಡಿನ ಸಂದರ್ಭದಲ್ಲಿ ಗರ್ನಾಲು ಸಿಡಿಸುವುದು ಸಾಮಾನ್ಯ. ಸಾಯಂಕಾಲದಿಂದ ರಾತ್ರಿ ವರೇಗೆ ಗಿರ್‍ಗಿಟ್ಲಿಯಂತೆ ಬಲ್ಲಾಳ್‍ಬಾಗ್‍ನಿಂದ ಮಣ್ಣಗುಡ್ದೆಗೆ ಹಾಗೂ ಹಿಂದೆ ಬಂದು ಆಯಾಸವಾಗಿ ನಾವು ಗಾಢ ನಿದ್ರೆಯಲ್ಲಿದ್ದಾಗ ಗರ್ನಾಲಿನ ಶಬ್ಧಕ್ಕೆ ಎಚ್ಚೆತ್ತು ಗಡಿಬಿಡಿಯಿಂದ ಎದ್ದು ಮುಖಕ್ಕೊಂದಿಷ್ಟು ತಣ್ಣೀರೆರಚಿ, ಬೈರಾಸಿನಿಂದ ಒರೆಸಿ, ಹೊರಗೋಡಿ ಕಂಪೌಂಡ್ ಗೋಡೆಯನ್ನೇರಿ ಕುಳಿತು, ಝೈಂ ಝೈಂ ಬ್ಯಾಂಡ್ ವಾದನದ ತಾಳಕ್ಕೆ ತಕ್ಕಂತೆ ಕುಣಿಯುತ್ತಾ ವೈಯ್ಯಾರದಿಂದ ಮೈ ತಿರುಗಿಸುತ್ತಾ ಗಂಭೀರತೆಯ ಮುಖಮುದ್ರೆಯೊಂದಿಗೆ ಸಾಗಿ ಬರುವ ತಟ್ಟಿರಾಯ, ರಾಣಿಯರನ್ನು ಕಂಪೌಂಡ್ ಪಕ್ಕದಿಂದ ಸಾಗುವ ದೃಶ್ಯವನ್ನು ಕಣ್ತುಂಬಾ ಕಾಣುವುದೇ ಒಂದು ಖುಷಿ! ನಂತರ ಬಂಡಿಯನ್ನೇರಿ ವಾಲಗದ ಧ್ವನಿಗೆ ಹಿಂಬಾಲಿಸಿ ಬರುವ ಗ್ರಾಮ ದೇವರ ಮೂರ್ತಿ ಗುರ್ಜಿಯನ್ನೇರಿ ಪೂಜೆಯನ್ನು ಸ್ವೀಕರಿಸುವಾಗ ಮೊಳಗುವ ಕೊಂಬು, ಭಗವತಿ ಕ್ಷೇತ್ರದ  ಗೂನುಬೆನ್ನಿನ ರಾಮ, ಮತ್ತವನ ಮೇಳದ ಚಂಡೆವಾದ್ಯ, ಸಿಡಿಸುವ ಮತಾಪು, ಪಟಾಕಿ ಎಲ್ಲವೂ ಕಣ್ಮುಂದೆ ಇಂದಿಗೂ ಮಾಸದೇ ಉಳಿದಿದೆ, ಕಿವಿಯಲ್ಲಿನ್ನೂ ಮೊಳಗುತ್ತಿದೆ!

ಇನ್ನು 'ಮಣ್ಣಗುಡ್ದೆ ದಿಂಡು' ಅಂದರೇನು, ಎಂದು ತಿಳಿದುಕೊಳ್ಳೋಣ. ಈ 'ಮಣ್ಣಗುಡ್ದೆ ದಿಂಡು' ಅನ್ನುವಂತಹದು ಪ್ರತಿ ವರ್ಷ ನವೆಂಬರ್ ಅಥವಾ ಡಿಸೆಂಬರ್ ತಿಂಗಳಲ್ಲಿ ನಡೆಯುವ ಉತ್ಸವ. ಕನ್ನಡ ಭಾಷೆಯಲ್ಲಿ ದಿಂಡು ಅಂದರೆ ಉತ್ಸವ ಎಂದು ಅರ್ಥವಿದೆ. ಇಲ್ಲಿ ದಿಂಡು ಎಂದರೆ ಗುರ್ಜಿ ಉತ್ಸವ. ಗುರ್ಜಿ ಅನ್ನುವುದು 'ಗುಜ್ಜು' ಅಥವಾ ಮರದ ಕಂಬಗಳನ್ನು ನೆಟ್ಟು ಬಿದಿರಿನ ಮುಕುಟ ಕಟ್ಟಿ ಕೆಂಪು ಬಿಳಿ ಪತಾಕೆಗಳನ್ನು ಸುತ್ತಲೂ ನೇತಾಡಿಸಿ, ಭುಜಕ್ಕಿಷ್ಟು, ಸೊಂಟಕ್ಕಿಷ್ಟು ತರಕಾರಿ ಹಣ್ಣು ಹಂಪಲು ವೈವಿಧ್ಯಗಳನ್ನು ಕಟ್ಟಿ, ಕಂಬಗಳಿಗೆ ಅಡಿಕೆಯ ಮಾಲೆಯನ್ನು ಸುತ್ತಿ, ನಲಿದಾಡುವ, ಓಡಾಡುವ ಬಣ್ಣಬಣ್ಣದ ವಿದ್ಯುದ್ದೀಪಗಳಿಂದ ಅಲಂಕರಿಸಿ ಝಿಗ್ಗನೆ ಮಾರು ದೂರ 'ಮಾರನ ಅರಮನೆಯಂತೆ' ಎದ್ದು ಕಾಣುವಂತೆ ಮಾಡುವ ಮೋಡಿ ನಮ್ಮ ಚಿಕ್ಕಂದಿನಿಂದ ಇಂದಿನ ವರೇಗೆ ವರ್ಷಂಪ್ರತಿ ಬೆಳೆದು ಬಂದು ಇಂದಿಗೂ ಸಾವಿರಾರು ಜನರನ್ನು ಆಕರ್ಷಿಸುತ್ತಿದೆ. ನಮ್ಮ ವಾಸಸ್ಥಾನ ಬಲ್ಲಾಳ್‍ಬಾಗ್ ಹಾಗೂ ಸಮೀಪದ ಮಣ್ಣಗುಡ್ದೆಯಲ್ಲಿ ಮುಖ್ಯವಾಗಿ ನಿರ್ಮಿಸುವ ಗುರ್ಜಿಗಳಲ್ಲದೇ ಮಣ್ಣಗುಡ್ದೆಯಿಂದ ಅಳಕೆಗೆ ಹೋಗುವ ದಾರಿಯಲ್ಲಿ ಕೃಷ್ಣ ಮಠದಲ್ಲಿ, ಒಂದು ಚಿಕ್ಕ ಕಡಲೆಕಾಳಿನ ಗುರ್ಜಿಯನ್ನೂ ನಿರ್ಮಿಸುತ್ತಿದ್ದರು. ಅದರ ವೈಶಿಷ್ಟ್ಯ ಏನೆಂದರೆ, ಅಡಿಕೆಯ ಬದಲು ನೀರಲ್ಲಿ ನೆನೆಸಿದ ಕಡಲೆ ಕಾಳಿನ ಮಾಲೆಯನ್ನು ಗುರ್ಜಿಯ ಕಂಬಗಳಿಗೆ ಸುತ್ತುವುದು. ಉತ್ಸವದ ಮಾರನೇ ದಿನ ಗುರ್ಜಿಗೆ ಕಟ್ಟಿದ ತರಕಾರಿ ಹಣ್ಣುಹಂಪಲುಗಳನ್ನು ಏಲಂ ಹಾಕಿ ಮೂರು ಅಥವಾ ನಾಲ್ಕು ಪಟ್ಟು ಬೆಲೆ ಸಂಗ್ರಹಿಸುತ್ತಾ ಇದ್ದರು. ಆ ಏಲಂ ನೋಡುವುದು ಮತ್ತೊಂದು ಕುತೂಹಲ ನನಗೆ! ವಿಕ್ರತ ಕಾಡು ಅನನಾಸು ತಿನ್ನಲು ಯೋಗ್ಯವೇ ಎಂಬ ಯೋಚನೆ. ಗೇರುಹಣ್ಣಿನಂತೆ ಕಾಣುವ ಸೇಬು ಹಾಗೂ ಅದಕ್ಕೆ ಪೋಣಿಸಿದ ಗೇರುಬೀಜ ಯಾರು ಕೊಳ್ಳುವರೆಂಬ ಕೌತುಕ! 

ಶಾಲೆಗೆ ಹೋಗಲು ಪ್ರಾರಂಭಿಸಿದ ನಂತರ ಮೊದಲು ಅಮ್ಮ ಅಥವಾ ಅಣ್ಣಂದಿರ ಕೈ ಹಿಡಿದು ಮೆಲ್ಲನೆ ಹೆಜ್ಜೆ ಹಾಕುತ್ತಾ ಮಣ್ಣಗುಡ್ದೆಯತ್ತ ನಡೆದು ದಾರಿಯಲ್ಲಿ ಅಲ್ಲಲ್ಲಿ ಐಸ್‍ಕ್ಯಾಂಡಿ ಮಾರುವವರನ್ನು, ಪುಗ್ಗೆ, ಪೀಪಿ, ಟಾಂಟಾಂ, ಬೊಂಬೆಗಳನ್ನು ಮಾರುವವರನ್ನು, ಬೊಂಬಾಯಿ ಮಿಠಾಯಿ, ಬೊಂಬಾಯಿ ಖಿಲೋನಾಗಳನ್ನು, ಚಕ್ರ ತಿರುಗಿಸಿ ಒಂದು ಮುಷ್ಟಿ ನೆಲಕಡಲೆ ಗೆಲ್ಲಬಹುದಾದಂತಹ 'ರಷ್ಯನ್ ರೂಲೇ' ಮಾದರಿಯ ಜೂಜಿನ ಚಕ್ರಗಳನ್ನು, ರಟ್ಟಿನ ದೊಡ್ದ ಬೋರ್ಡಿಗೆ ಬಣ್ಣದ ಕಾಗದ ಸುತ್ತಿದ ಚಿಕ್ಕ ಚಿಕ್ಕ ಪೊಟ್ಟಣಗಳನ್ನು ಅಂಟಿಸಿ ಅವುಗಳೊಳಗೆ ಅದೃಷ್ಟದ ಸಂಖ್ಯೆ ಇರಿಸಿ ಬಹುಮಾನ ಗೆಲ್ಲಿಸುವ ಮಂದಿ, ರಿಂಗ್ ಬಿಸಾಡಿ ಸಾಬೂನು, ಸ್ನೋ, ಆಟಿಕೆ, ಬಿಸ್ಕತ್ತಿನ ಪೊಟ್ಟಣ ಇತ್ಯಾದಿಗಳನ್ನು ಗೆಲ್ಲಬಹುದಾದ ಸ್ಟಾಲು,  ಚರುಮುರಿ, ಮುಳ್ಳುಸೌತೆ, ವಿಮ್‍ಟೋ, ಗೋಲಿ ಸೋಡಾ, ಖರ್ಜೂರ ಮಾರುವವರನ್ನು ತದೇಕಚಿತ್ತನಾಗಿ ದೃಷ್ಟಿಸಿ, ಒಂದು ದಿನ ನಾನೂ ಇವರಂತೆ ರಸ್ತೆ ಬದಿ ಸ್ಟಾಲ್ ಇಟ್ಟು ಒಬ್ಬ ದೊಡ್ದ ವ್ಯಾಪಾರಿ ಆಗುವ ಕನಸು ಕಾಣುತ್ತಿದ್ದೆ!

ನನಗೆ ನೆನಪಿದ್ದಂತೆ, ನಾನು 1962ರಿಂದ ಬಲ್ಲಾಳ್‍ಬಾಗ್ ವೀರ ಭವನದಲ್ಲಿನ ನಮ್ಮ ವಾಸದ ಮನೆಯ ಕಂಪೌಂಡ್ ಗೋಡೆಯ ಮೇಲೇರಿ  ಕುಳಿತು ಬಲ್ಲಾಳ್‍ಬಾಗ್ ವೃತ್ತದಲ್ಲಿ ಹತ್ತು ಸಮಸ್ತರು ಸೇರಿ ನಿರ್ಮಿಸಿ ಪೂಜಿಸುತ್ತಿದ್ದ ಗುರ್ಜಿಯನ್ನು ಕಾಣುತ್ತಿದ್ದೇನೆ. ಈ ಗುರ್ಜಿಯ ಮರಮಟ್ಟುಗಳನ್ನು ಲಾಲ್‍ಬಾಗ್ ಸ್ಟೋರ್ ಮಾಲಿಕ ನಾರಾಯಣ ಶೆಟ್ಟಿಯವರ ಕಟ್ಟಿಗೆ ಡಿಪೋ‍ದ ಅಟ್ಟದಲ್ಲಿ ಕೂಡಿಡುತ್ತಿದ್ದರು. 

ಬಲ್ಲಾಳ್‍ಬಾಗ್‍ನಲ್ಲಿ ಅರುವತ್ತರ ದಶಕದ ಕೊನೇಗೆ ಪ್ರಾರಂಭವಾದ 'ಕೊಡಿಯಾಲ್‍ಬೈಲ್ ಯೂತ್ ಕ್ಲಬ್' ದಿಂಡಿನ ವೇಳೆ ಸಕ್ರಿಯವಾಗಿ ಮನೋರಂಜನಾ ಕಾರ್ಯಕ್ರಮಗಳನ್ನು ಏರ್ಪಡಿಸಿ ಸ್ಥಬ್ದಚಿತ್ರವನ್ನು ಸಜ್ಜುಗೊಳಿಸಿ ಭಾರತ ಮಾತೆಯಂತೆ ವೇಷ ಧರಿಸುವ, ಆರ್ಕೆಸ್ಟ್ರಾ ಜೊತೆ ಮೈಕ್‍ನಲ್ಲಿ ಜೋರಾಗಿ "ಅಜ್ಜಾ ಅಜ್ಜಾ....ಈರೆಗ್ ಕೆಬಿ ಕೇಣುಜ್ಜಾ....." ಎಂದು ತೀಸ್ರಿ ಮಂಜಿಲ್ ಸಿನೆಮಾ ಹಾಡಿನ ರಾಗಕ್ಕೆತುಳುವಿನಲ್ಲಿ ಇಂಪಾಗಿ ಹಾಡುವ ರಾಜ್ ನರೇಶ್, 'ಇಸ್ಕ್ ಇಸ್ಕ್....' ಎಂದು ಕೂಗುತ್ತಾ ಡ್ಯಾನ್ಸ್ ಮಾಡುವ ಪೈಲ್ವಾನ್ ಲೂಯಿಸ್, ಪ್ರಕಾಶ, ರಮೇಶ್ ಆಚಾರಿ, ಜಯ, ಕಾಶಿನಾಥ, ಏಕನಾಥ, ರವಿ ಕುಮಾರ, ಗಣೇಶ ಮತ್ತು ಇತರ ಮಿತ್ರರು ನೀಡಿದ ಪುಕ್ಕಟೆ ಮನರಂಜನೆ ಇಂದಿಗೂ ಮರೆತಿಲ್ಲ ನಾನು.

ಮಣ್ಣಗುಡ್ದೆ ಗುರ್ಜಿಯ ಹಿಂಭಾಗದ ಖಾಲಿ ಸ್ಥಳದಲ್ಲಿ ಮರದ ಕುದುರೆ ಮತ್ತು ತಿರುಗು ತೊಟ್ಟಿಲು ಆಟದ ಸಂತೆ ಒಂದು ವಾರ ಮುಂಚಿತವಾಗಿ ಸ್ಥಾಪನೆಯಾಗಿ, ತೆಂಗಿನ ನಾರು ಸಿಕ್ಕಿಸಿ ತೊಟ್ಟಿಲು ತಿರುಗುವಾಗ ಮಾಡುವ ಕುಯ್ಂ.... ಕುಯ್ಂ.... ಕಿರ್ರ್.... ಕಿರ್ರ್.... ಶಬ್ಧವನ್ನು ಕೇಳಿ, ಎಲ್ಲೋ ಅಪರೂಪಕ್ಕೆ ಜೋಕಾಲಿ ಕಂಬ ಮುರಿದು ಬಿದ್ದು ಕೆಲವರು ಆಸ್ಪತ್ರೆ ಸೇರಿದ ಬಗ್ಗೆ ಕೇಳಿ ತಿಳಿದು ಭಯವಿಹ್ವಲನಾಗಿ ಗಡ ಗಡ ನಡುಗಿ, ನಾನಂತೂ ಜನ್ಮದಲ್ಲಿ ತೊಟ್ಟಿಲಿನಲ್ಲಿ ಕೂತುಕೊಳ್ಳುದಿಲ್ಲ ಎಂದು ಶಪಥ ಹಾಕಿದರೂ, ಎರಡೇ ವರ್ಷದಲ್ಲಿ ಆ ಶಪಥವನ್ನು ಮುರಿದು ಧೈರ್ಯ ತುಂಬಿದ ಅನಂತ, ನವೀನ, ರವಿ ಕುಮಾರ ಅವರೊಂದಿಗೆ ಕೂತು, ನಾಲ್ಕು ಸುತ್ತು ಮೇಲೆ ಕೆಳಗೆ ತಿರುಗಿದಾಗ ತಲೆ ಗಿರ್ರನೆ ತಿರುಗಿ, ಮೂರು ಲೋಕ ಕಂಡಂತಾಗಿ, ಹೊಟ್ಟೆ ತೊಳಸಿ ಬಂದರೂ ನಸು ನಕ್ಕು ನಾನು ಸರಿ ಇದ್ದೇನೆಂದು ತೋರಿಸಲು ಜಂಗ್ಲೀ ಸಿನೆಮದ ಶಮ್ಮಿಕಪೂರ್‍ನಂತೆ ಕುಣಿದು ಕುಪ್ಪಳಿಸಿ, ದೇವ್ ಆನಂದ್  ಶೈಲಿಯಲ್ಲಿ ಅತ್ತಿತ್ತ ಓಲಾಡುತ್ತಾ ನಾಲ್ಕು ಹೆಜ್ಜೆ ಓಡಿ, ತೋಡಿಗೆ ಬೀಳುವುದರಿಂದ ಸ್ವಲ್ಪದರಲ್ಲಿ ಪಾರಾದದ್ದೂ ಇದೆ!

ಸಂತೆಗಳ ಪೈಕಿ,  ಚರುಮುರಿ ಸ್ಟಾಲ್ ನನಗೆ ಮತ್ತು ನನ್ನ ಮಿತ್ರರಿಗೆ ಅತ್ಯಂತ ಇಷ್ಟ. ಹಾಗೇ 1971ರಲ್ಲಿ ಒಂದು ದಿನ ನಾವು ಶ್ರೀನಿವಾಸ ಬಲ್ಲಾಳರ ಮನೆಯಲ್ಲಿ ಸೇರಿ  ನಮ್ಮ ಬ್ಲುಮೂನ್ ಸ್ಪೋರ್ಟ್ಸ್ ಕ್ಲಬ್ ವತಿಯಿಂದ ದಿಂಡಿನ ದಿನ ಬಲ್ಲಾಳ್‍ಬಾಗ್ ಸರ್ಕಲ್ ಬಳಿ ಒಂದು ಚರುಮುರಿ, ತಂಪು ಪಾನೀಯ ಸ್ಟಾಲ್ ಹಾಕುವುದು, ಎಂದು ನಿರ್ಧಾರ ಕೈಗೊಂಡೆವು. ಅದಕ್ಕಾಗಿ ಹತ್ತು ಪೈಸೆ ಮುಖ ಬೆಲೆಯ ಲಕ್ಕಿಡಿಪ್ ಟಿಕೆಟ್ ಪ್ರಿಂಟ್ ಮಾಡಿಸಿ ಮಾರಿ 60 ರುಪಾಯಿ ಗಳಿಕೆ ಮಾಡಿದೆವು. ಸ್ಟಾಲ್ ಹೇಗಿರಬೇಕು, ಅದರಲ್ಲಿ ಏನೇನು ಮಾರಬೇಕು, ಯಾರ್ಯಾರು ಸಕ್ರಿಯವಾಗಿ ಪಾಲುಗೊಳ್ಳಬೇಕು, ಹಣ ಸ್ವೀಕರಿಸಲು ಯಾರ್ಯಾರು ಪಾಳಿಯಂತೆ ಕುಳಿತುಕೊಳ್ಳಬೇಕು, ಯಾರ್ಯಾರು ದಾರಿಹೋಕರನ್ನು ಪುಸಲಾಯಿಸಿ ನಮ್ಮಲ್ಲಿ ವ್ಯಾಪಾರ ಮಾಡುವಂತೆ ಕರೆತರಬೇಕು, ಮುಂತಾಗಿ ವಿಚಾರ ವಿಮರ್ಷೆ ಮಾಡಿದೆವು.

ನಮ್ಮ ತಂದೆಯವರಿಗೆ 'ಎಸ್ಸೋ ಗ್ಯಾಸ್' ಭಂಡಾರಿಯವರು ನಿಕಟರಾಗಿದ್ದರು. ಹಾಗೇ ಅವರ ಏಜನ್ಸಿಯಲ್ಲಿ ವಿತರಣೆಗೊಳ್ಳುತ್ತಿದ್ದ ಮಣಿಪಾಲದ ತಂಪು ಪಾನೀಯ 'ಬಾಜಲ್' ರಖಂ ಆಗಿ ತರುವುದೆಂದು ನಿರ್ಧಾರವಾಗಿ, ನನ್ನನ್ನು ಆ ಜವಾಬ್ದಾರಿಯಲ್ಲಿ ನಿಯುಕ್ತಿಗೊಳಿಸಿದರು. ನಾನು ದಿಂಡಿನ ಮುಂಚಿನ ದಿನ ಸಂಪತ್ ಬಲ್ಲಾಳ್ ಜೊತೆಗೆ ಕಾರ್‍ನಲ್ಲಿ ಹೋಗಿ 192 ಬಾಜಲ್ ಬಾಟ್ಲಿಗಳ 8 ಪೆಟ್ಟಿಗೆಗಳನ್ನು ತಂದು ನಮ್ಮ ಕಂಪೌಂಡ್‍ನಲ್ಲಿರಿಸಿದೆನು. ಮಿತ್ರ ರಮೇಶ್ ಕಾಮತ್ ಅಂದ, "ಸೆಂಟ್ರಲ್ ವೇರ್‍ಹೌಸ್ ಸಮೀಪ ಒಂದು ಹೊಸ ಮನೆ ಕೆಲಸ ನಡೆಯುತ್ತಿದೆ. ಅಲ್ಲಿಂದ ಮರದ 'ಗುಜ್ಜು'(ಕಂಬ) ತರುವಾ. ನನಗೆ ಮೇಸ್ತ್ರಿಗಳ ಪರಿಚಯ ಉಂಟು". ಹಾಗೇ ನಾವು ನಾಲ್ಕೈದು ಮಿತ್ರರು ಅಲ್ಲಿಗೆ ನಡೆದು ಒಬ್ಬೊಬ್ಬರು ಎರಡೆರಡು ಗುಜ್ಜುಗಳನ್ನು ಎರಡು ಸಲ ಹೋಗಿ ಹೊತ್ತು ತಂದು ಸ್ಟಾಲ್ ನಿರ್ಮಿಸಿ, ಮೇಲೆ ಹೊದಿಸಲು  ಬಾಲಚಂದ್ರನ  ಮುಖಾಂತರ, ನಾರಾಯಣ ಶೆಟ್ಟರ ಲಾರಿಯ ಟಾರ್ಪಾಲು ತರಿಸಿ ಹಾಕಿ ಕಟ್ಟಿ ಭದ್ರಗೊಳಿಸಿದೆವು. 'ಬ್ಲುಮೂನ್ ಸ್ಟಾಲ್' ಎಂದು ಬರೆದ ಒಂದು ಬಟ್ಟೆಯ ಬ್ಯಾನರ್ ಪೈಂಟ್ ಮಾಡಿಸಿ ತಂದು ಕಟ್ಟಿದೆವು. ನಾಲ್ಕು ಟ್ಯೂಬ್‍ಲೈಟ್ ಹಾಗೂ ಗ್ರಾಮೋಫೋನ್, ಮಣ್ಣಗುಡ್ದೆಯಲ್ಲಿನ 'ಸುವರ್ಣ ಸೌಂಡ್ ಸಿಸ್ಟಮ್'ನಿಂದ ಬಾಡಿಗೆಗೆ ಪಡೆದೆವು. ಎಲ್ಲಿಂದಲೋ ಒಂದು ಐಸ್ ಬಾಕ್ಸ್ ತರಿಸಿ ಮಂಜುಗೆಡ್ದೆ ಹಾಕಿ ಬಾಜಲ್ ಬಾಟ್ಲಿಗಳನ್ನು ಅದರಲ್ಲಿರಿಸಿದೆವು.

ದಿಂಡಿನ ದಿನ ಸಾಯಂಕಾಲ ನಾಲ್ಕು ಗಂಟೆಗೆ ಶುರುವಾಯಿತು, ನಮ್ಮ ಚರುಮುರಿ, ಸೌತೆಕಾಯಿ, ಮಿಕ್ಶ್ಚರ್, ನೆಲಕಡಲೆ, ಬಾಜಲ್ ಸ್ಟಾಲ್! ಸಂಪತ್, ವಿಶ್ವನಾಥ, ಮಹಾವೀರ ಕ್ಯಾಶ್ ಜವಾಬ್ದಾರಿ ತಗೊಂಡು, ನಾನು, ಅನಂತ, ರಮೇಶ, ದೇವೇಂದ್ರ ಚರುಮುರಿ, ಸೌತೆಕಾಯಿ, ತಯಾರಿಸುವ ಕೆಲಸ ವಹಿಸಿಕೊಂಡು, ರಾಜಾರಾಮ, ತಾರಾನಾಥ, ಪ್ರೇಮ್‍ನಾಥ, ಬಾಲಚಂದ್ರ ಮತ್ತಿತರರು ಗಿರಾಕಿಗಳನ್ನು ಓಲೈಸಿ, ಆರ್ಡರ್ ಪಡೆದು ಸಪ್ಲೈ ಮಾಡುವ ಮುತ್ತುವರ್ಜಿಯನ್ನು ವಹಿಸಿಕೊಂಡರು. ಅಂತೂ ನಮ್ಮ ಬ್ಲುಮೂನ್ ಸ್ಟಾಲ್ ಅಂದು ಸಾಯಂಕಾಲದಿಂದ ಮಧ್ಯ ರಾತ್ರಿ ವರೆಗೆ ಚೆನ್ನಾಗಿ ವ್ಯಾಪಾರ ಮಾಡಿತು. ನಮ್ಮ ಮನೆಯವರು ಕಂಪೌಂಡ್ ಗೋಡೆ ಬಳಿ ನಿಂತು ನನ್ನನ್ನು ಸನ್ನೆ ಮಾಡಿ ಕರೆದು ಏನೆಲ್ಲಾ ಐಟಂ ಉಂಟೆಂದು ಕೇಳಿ ಚರುಮುರಿ ಆರ್ಡರ್ ಮಾಡಿದ್ದು, ನಮ್ಮಮ್ಮ "ಸ್ವಲ್ಪ ಉಪ್ಪು ಜಾಸ್ತಿಯಾಯಿತು, ಆದರೂ ಪರವಾಗಿಲ್ಲ" ಎಂದು ಸಮಾಧಾನ ಪಡಿಸಿದ್ದು, 8:00 ಗಂಟೆ ಹೊತ್ತಿಗೆ ಬಾಜಲ್ ಎಲ್ಲಾ ಖಾಲಿ ಆಗಿ ನಾನು ಮತ್ತು ಸಂಪತ್ ಪುನಃ ಭಂಡಾರಿಯವರಲ್ಲಿಗೆ ಹೋಗಿ ಸ್ಟಾಕ್ ತಂದದ್ದು, ಮರೆಯುವಂತಿಲ್ಲ!

ಮಾರನೇ ದಿನ ಎಲ್ಲಾ ಮಿತ್ರರು ಸೇರಿ, ವ್ಯಾಪಾರ ಮಾಡುವ ಪ್ರಥಮ ಅನುಭವದೊಂದಿಗೆ, ಖರ್ಚು ಮತ್ತು ಲಾಭಾಂಶ ಲೆಕ್ಕ ಹಾಕಿದಾಗಲೇ ತಿಳಿದದ್ದು, ನಾವು ಒಂದು ನಯಾಪೈಸೆ ಲಾಭ ಮಾಡಿಲ್ಲವೆಂದು! ಕಾರಣ, ನಮ್ಮ ಆದಾಯ ಅಂದು 90 ರುಪಾಯಿ, ಖರ್ಚು 60 ರುಪಾಯಿ ಮತ್ತು ಬಂದ ಲಾಭಾಂಶ 30 ರುಪಾಯಿ ಎಲ್ಲೋ ಸೋರಿ ಹೋಗಿ ಲೆಕ್ಕ ಸಿಗದೇ ಆದ ಲಾಭ ಅಥವಾ ನಷ್ಟ ಶೂನ್ಯ! ಕ್ಯಾಶ್ ಜವಾಬ್ದಾರಿ ಹೊತ್ತ ಸಂಪತ್, ವಿಶ್ವನಾಥ, ಮಹಾವೀರ ಅಲ್ಲದೇ ರಾತ್ರಿ ಪಾಳಿಯಲ್ಲಿ ಜನಜಂಗುಳಿ ಸೇರಿದಾಗ ಆದ ಗೊಂದಲದಲ್ಲಿ, ಕ್ಯಾಶ್‍ಬಾಕ್ಸ್ ನೋಡಿಕೊಳ್ಳಲು ಕುಳಿತವರು ಇನ್ನ್ಯಾರೋ ಇಬ್ಬರು. ಅವರಿಬ್ಬರ ಹೆಸರು ಇಲ್ಲಿ ಉಲ್ಲೇಖಿಸುವುದು ತರವಲ್ಲ. ಆ ಇಬ್ಬರಲ್ಲಿ ಯಾರು ಆ 30 ರುಪಾಯಿ ಜೇಬಿಗಿಳಿಸಿದ್ದರೆಂಬುದನ್ನು ಕಂಡು ಹಿಡಿಯಲು ಅಂದು ಅವರು ದೇವರಾಣೆಯಿಟ್ಟು ಅಲ್ಲಗೆಳೆದ ಕಾರಣ, ನಂತರ ಅವರಲ್ಲೊಬ್ಬನು ಹಲವು ದಿನ ಸ್ವೇಚ್ಛೆಯಾಗಿ ರಾಜನಂತೆ ದುಡ್ದು ಖರ್ಚು ಮಾಡಿ ಐಷಾರಾಮ ಜೀವನ ನಡೆಸಿದರೂ, ಅವನ ಮೇಲೆ ಆಪಾದನೆ ಹೊರಿಸಲು ಇಂದಿಗೂ ಸಾಧ್ಯವಾಗಿಲ್ಲ! ಆ ನಂತರ ಚರುಮುರಿ ಮಾರುವ, ಅಥವಾ ಇತರ ಯಾವುದೇ ಸ್ಟಾಲ್ ಹಾಕುವ ಪ್ರಯತ್ನವನ್ನು ಬ್ಲುಮೂನ್ ಸ್ಪೋರ್ಟ್ಸ್ ಕ್ಲಬ್ ವತಿಯಿಂದ ನಾವು ಮಾಡಿಲ್ಲ. 14 ವರ್ಷ ಪ್ರಾಯದಲ್ಲಿ,  ಜೀವನದಲ್ಲಿ ಪ್ರಥಮ ಸ್ಟಾಲ್ ಇಟ್ಟು ಚರುಮುರಿ ತಯಾರಿಸಿ, ಸೌತೆಕಾಯಿ ಹೋಳು ಮಾಡಿ ಉಪ್ಪು ಖಾರ ಲಿಂಬೆರಸ ಹಚ್ಚಿ ಕೊಟ್ಟು, ಮಿಕ್ಸ್ಚರ್, ನೆಲಕಡಲೆ ಬಾಜಲ್ ಮಾರುವ ವ್ಯಾಪಾರ ನಡೆಸಿದ ಉಲ್ಲಾಸ, ಹೆಗ್ಗಳಿಕೆ, ಅಭಿಮಾನ, ಹೆಮ್ಮೆ ನನ್ನಲ್ಲಿ ಇಂದಿಗೂ ಬತ್ತಿಲ್ಲ!

Fire Cracker Buster

Pic source: commons.wikimedia.org

For GSBs. Tulsi Pooja is more auspicious than Deepavali, especially when it comes to fire crackers.

Our neighbours in Veera Bhavan Compound Ballal Bagh in the Sixties D Puttaswamy and family, used to buy quite a huge bundle of fireworks and my friend Mahaveer used to arrange them in a side room in their home like they arrange them in shops, at least 3 days before Deepavali started. We used to visit them and watch the display and count the number of each item and assess the value. They also used to get aeroplane, rocket, chain crackers, Laxmi Bomb and 'Zainunde', a bomb made with rope wound around explosive material. Seetharama, the daring son of their house maid Jalaja used to ignite bombs.

Our father never used to encourage us to spend much on fireworks. For Deepavali, his budget used to be almost 25% of what Puttaswamy's family used to spend. All we got was some sparklers, whips, pencils, flowerpots, ground wheels, dot caps, matches, serpent tablet, and a packet of 'Vaale Pataki' or those triangular crackers made with dried palm leaves. However, for Tulsi Pooja our father generously spent for fireworks, and he used to take me and my brothers to B Venkatesh Bhat & Sons in Car Street, tell them to give us whatever we wanted, and then settle the bill. Sometimes we used to burn more fireworks than Puttaswamy's sons had for Deepavali, but we used to get just one packet of Laxmi Bomb, few rope trains, 100's chain cracker and few rockets. 

Across the road, at Lalbagh Stores owner Narayana Shetty's house, his sons Shivanand and Balachandra(Balu) used to fire just about any crackers with ease, for both deepavali and for Tulsi Pooja. Balu fired vaale pataaki directly by holding them against the fire and throw them just a few feet away! I used to watch Balu with envy, for he was two years younger than me, and still not afraid of lighting explosive crackers!

We were however very scared to fire bombs and vaale pataaki. My style was to burn a piece of paper, keep the bomb on it and run away! As for vaale pataaki, I would stick it into a coconut leaf bone, hold it to the fire and as soon as it ignited, throw the coconut leaf bone away along with the vaale pataaki!

Eventually two of my elder brothers got jobs and they moved to Bombay. Third one joined MBBS in Mysore and fourth one Kamalakanth, was not much interested in fire crackers. That left the last two of us, myself and Radhakanth. We were in high school in the late Sixties. I used to fire the bombs and vaale pataaki like I mentioned earlier.

It was year 1970 and as usual, Tulsi Pooja was going on. Our priest Pandit Venkatesh Acharya had arrived with his nephew Raghunath(Baab). He was performing pooja and during aarti, he shouted "Start burning fireworks!"

Myself and Radhakanth hurriedly started burning sparklers, ground wheels, flower pots and such safe items. Baab was watching us eagerly. He was two or Three years younger to me, maybe just 10 years old then. He came forward and took three or four flowerpots, lighted them directly with the help of lamp fire and kept them in a line! My mother told me "Give some crackers to Baab. Poor boy is watching eagerly!"

I gave Baab some sparklers and he lighted them with a smile, but he was not too happy. I was reluctant to give expensive fireworks to him. After we ran out of safe fireworks, I started to ignite vaale pataaki. Baab watched me light a piece of paper and keep the pataaki on that, run away much before it caught fire and exploded. Sometimes the fire set to the piece of paper would get extinguished by a breeze of wind.

Baab couldn't take it anymore. He came to me and asked "Shall I fire them vaale pataakis and bombs?"

I nodded my head and gave him the packets. He started to set them on fire directly by holding them to the lamp, and within 15 minutes he fired all the 100 vaale pataakis! Then he set the bombs on fire. This time he kept the Laxmi bomb in a distance, ignited it with a match stick and coolly walked back! He was quite daring at that age like Seetharam and Balu! 

Baab left with his uncle Pandit Acharya after the pooja was over, and I sighed in relief. Baab's guts and at the same time my helplessness for not being able to do the feats he did, made me sulk.

I felt so low that evening, I decided to go to Drawing master's shop across the MG Raod in Ballalbagh circle and get some more crackers. I pestered mother and she gave me 10 Rupees. I ran to Drawing Master's shop and bought a box of Flowerpots, a pack of Laxmi Bomb, and couple of pack of sparklers. After coming back, the first thing I did was take a flowerpot, hold it directly to the lamp flame and shout "Look! I can directly ignite flowerpot!"

That's all! Something exploded with a big bang, everything looked very bright for a moment and then I could not see anything! My ears were almost deaf with the echo of the bang! I could hear faint voices of Kamalakanth and Radhakanth in a distance, but could not make out anything! I slowly staggered into the house and sat on the Vakil Bench in the veranda. My right hand looked silver grey with the explosive powder from the flowerpot coated all over. It also had aching and burning sensation, and mother came to me with kerosene. Someone had advised her that kerosene can heal burns faster! My father was inside the house and he didn't know anything about the explosion and my hand! Mother applied kerosene to my hand and also applied a thin film of Burnol. She advised me not to wash my hand, and eat food using a spoon. I was totally blank. I was also worried about remaining fireworks!

The burn injury got healed fast, maybe within three days. Mother suggested that remaining fireworks be given to some boys in the neighbourhood to be used on Mannaguda Dindu(Gurji Deepotsava) which was also celebrated in Ballalbagh circle opposite our home. I opposed her views and I ignited them all myself on the Mannagudda Dindu day. Next year onward, I was brave enough to light fire crackers myself, and Baab was happy that I overcame my inhibitions and fear of explosive fireworks! 

Under Pressure

Today, November 19, 2015 is World Toilet Day. Had the British Rock Band 'Queen' released their 1982 hit 'Under Pressure' earlier, it would have been the right background score for the situation I underwent many years ago, which I am going to narrate in this sordid story dedicated to this day. Even a scene from the film 'Delhi Belly' would've described my agony more effectively. This may happen to anyone in life, but I have all the pride in narrating the true story, end of which may surprise you!
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Map of Mysore(Source: Google Maps). The red line marked shows the path of my journey from Shivarampet to Saraswathipuram

"Try Chicken with Cashewnut and Veg. It is good." said the lady who owned Shang Hai Restaurant in Shivarampet, Mysore.

I was there for having my dinner sometime in the summer of 1980. Returning by the passenger train from Chamarajanagar, I had reached the restaurant from the main railway station by walk, since that was closer than Chamarajapuram station, the regular one near my room.

After 15 minutes, the restaurant filled with the aroma of chicken chow mein and chicken with cashewnut and veg. It was a huge portion they served for very reasonable rates those days, sufficient for two persons with a good appetite. Being ventripotent myself, I used to garnish the noodle and the main course with lots of red chilli sauce and chilli vinegar, gobble up all that alone, and have a pot of Chinese green tea after the meal!

I did just that, paid the bill which came to much under Rs.10/-, and walked out. The time was almost 9:45PM and the shortcut path through Maharaja's College towards Mysore University was virtually deserted. That was my regular route when I walked all the way from city to Saraswathipuram 3rd Main, where I stayed in a small room, shared with a bank friend Mohan Reddy. There were in total 3 rooms and a common bath and a common toilet for the 6 of us in that building.

By the time I walked past Maharani's College Hostel, entered the compound of Maharaja's College, I had belched at least 8 times. The Chinese dinner was so sumptuous, I had a satisfactory tummy full! In another 3 minutes I reached DC Office. There I felt sudden earthquake like feeling within my digestive system!

I stopped for a while, thought I will release some gas and the tremours will subside. I also tried to release the gas in a controlled manner, all the time trying to warn my bowels to behave!

I could not succeed much because the pressure that was building inside was dangerously heavy and the release of gas might have led to a total blast and anointing of of my trousers and under garment. I tried to control my emotions and sat on the steps of DC Office for a while. Future seemed very bleak, without much hopes to survive the calamities that might happen anytime. All in all, it started to seem like a terribly gloomy evening for me.

At that moment, I had to decide within the following three:

1. Try and find a public toilet where there were none within a distance of 2-3 Kms.
2. Find a bush and squat behind it, relieve myself without any passerby watching me. 
3. Run fast towards my room and dash into the toilet.

Option no.1 was not practical, as the nearest public toilets were at the KSRTC bus stand and main railway station, both in a distance of almost 2 Kms from there. My room was also equidistant from there. Option no.2 was slightly difficult to exercise, for the fear of making the college campus dirty. Though I could convince myself that I was contributing to the vegetation with natural human manure, the apprehension of not being able to clean myself after the release of that manure, made me blank! 

So I decided to choose the last option, to walk fast or run towards my room. That seemed the only decent way out.

I got up, stood and watched all around. Not a soul in sight. I sighed in relief, and started running fast towards Saraswathipuram. As I reached the University grounds, I felt something like a volcano erupting inside me and I started to sweat profusely, my limbs started trembling and I felt dehydrated. I realised that I was suffering a bad case of diarrhoea, dysentery, amoebiasis or food poisoning. Any one of the four or all, because of the bad food and water that I used to consume in Chamarajanagar restaurants. During the daily train journeys that took over 2 and half hours each side, we had the toilets, though at times the toilets didn't have a drop of water. Even in our bank we had a toilet with acute water shortage. Because of that I often controlled pressure within my system and managed to relieve myself at the end of the day after returning to my room. 

That day was also one such day, when we didn't have water in the bank toilet as well as in our train compartment. Well, it was not the time for me to indulge in reasoning, but to find a quick way out to get out of agony and embarrassment!

Suddenly I got an idea. I had tried it before in total isolation, when nobody had watched me, but 'hop stomp jump' dancing did wonders and had stopped such outbursts of bowel pressure in the past for me! So I started to dance in a weird manner, hopping hither and thither like a bunny rabbit with both my legs parallel to each other and my hands cupping my backside! I had to do all that I had not done in public before, not even on stage or school skits. Extremely embarrassing situation, especially when someone suddenly stops you and asks "What's happening!"

Yes. Someone suddenly patted on my shoulder, smiled like a dolphin and asked in Kannada, "Saar what is going on?"

I managed a faint smile which seemed more like a cry but in the shadow of the giant trees near the fence of the ground, he might not have noticed that expression. I said "I am practicing for a new skit called 'Rabbit and Tortoise' that I am directing, and I don't have enough space in my room to hop and dance around like a rabbit. I am doing the role of rabbit in the skit."

He seemed to get convinced, but he gave me a piece of advice, "Saar you are doing wonderful, but please don't dance so vigorously. Your facial expressions may not be clearly visible even with bright stage lights. Do it slowly saar. Rabbits in real life also don't hop and dance so fast. I will show you how to do it!"

He showed me some movements that looked more like a tadpole jumping out of water. There was this peculiar expression on his face that irritated me. Besides, I was not in a mood to get audition or choreography practice at that moment of time, when the earth was sinking fast below my feet!

I felt as if my hands were itching to cup his neck wearing that irritating outdated bulldog collar with button fastened, and squeeze it, if possible break the neck, detach his dolphin like head and hand it over to him saying, "Take care of this precious extra fitting, keep it safe in a bank locker, and don't go around using it, or wearing it much. It is very valuable". 

Luckily or unluckily, I was not able to do that, as I felt one more pang of commotion within my bowels, and I hurriedly stepped towards my room without even saying bye to the stranger.

I don't know at what speed I was travelling then, but I could see trees, street lights, railway level crossing, the gates, signal poles and things passing by at almost 60KMPH. I was dizzy because my eyes were moist by the tears oozing out of helplessness, and I considered myself as the most unfortunate downtrodden soul on earth at that moment! 

Being a non believer, I was careful enough not to pray to any of the 33 Crore gods that were supposedly guardians of Hindu faith, or the other handful of them, which protected people from other faiths!

Suddenly I saw an array of street lights, and I realised that I had reached the corner of 'Kukkarahalli Kere', the lake that's a landmark between Saraswathipram and Manasa Gangotri, I was happy that I was almost near my room, and all's well. I also found out that my pants were still dry. The pressure also had subsided considerably, probably because I was used to it by then. It was almost 40 minutes past, since I had the dinner with chicken chow mein and chicken cashewnut veg. I hurried and reached the building where our room was on the first floor, ran up the stairs and made a dash to the toilet.

The tin sheet door was latched from inside, and someone was happily humming a Rajkumar film song in a hoarse voice, sounding like a buffalo that had starved for months! I felt miserable and told myself, "All that adventure, that tension, that pressure, that agony I went through, was to see this?"

I was furious. When I am furious, I don't care who is at the receiving end. I banged on the tin sheet door, kicked the door with my left foot and shouted "Who the hell is planted there inside! Come out immediately, you...... son of a.......!" I could not talk further. The world was becoming dark and I was almost fainting!

Then a ray of hope started appearing in the sky far far away! I heard the sound of water splashing and the mug hitting the floor. I also heard a feeble voice telling me in Kannada 'I am through saar. Don't shout. I am coming out immediately!".

It was Doddasidhaiah's roommate Mahadevappa. He didn't waste time, came out and said with a flash of smile, "It's all yours Maharaja. Sit on the throne, start your durbar and prosper!"

Next 10 minutes were spent in sheer ecstasy, birds chirping, angels playing sweet music, tears of joy rolling down the cheeks, the sounds of thunder lightening and hailstorm subsiding, and my whole body becoming relieved of the tremours, cramps and shivers, total relaxation, in simple worlds, pure bliss!

Had that happened in recent times, I'd have shouted "All is well......!"

Our Diwali Cracker Sale

Pic source: www.team-bhp.com

Diwali, the festival of lights was fast approaching 1982 November, and during that time we four friends from Mangalore were staying in a rented house in Rajajinagar 3rd Block. Two friends were on a 'Permanent vacation', and they were doing research in 'Parasitology', clinging on to us for almost a year! Ganesh from Prabhu Bakery family whose father had a canteen in Yashwanthpur, was a regular visitor, and was like a guide to my old classmate cum home-mate Shivanand to run his business smoothly. Shivanand ran a gramophone disc lending library opposite Ram Mandir in 4th Block by name 'Anand Disc Club'. He also did cassette recording at home as supplementary service. 

Having developed a good clientele, being popular locally people because of his and his working partner cum relative Narayan's friendly happy go lucky nature, he thought of setting up a Fire crackers stall on the Ram Mandir ground. He had seen his rival Mayur Disc Club guy making good business selling crackers the previous year. Besides, the Bhandarkar brothers Dileep and Dinesh, who had weighing scales and fire crackers business on Avenue Road were close friends of Shivanand and Narayan. They had motivated Shivanand to go ahead and said they will support him, giving credit and good discount! 

So, Shivanand held a meeting with us home-mates and the parasites over dinner at Gay Lord Bar and Restaurant on 80 Feet Road, and said 'I am going to setup a pataki stall on Ram Mandir ground for Diwali starting on November 12 and ending on November 15. The stall will be open for 4 days. I will spend for all the necessary expenses including City Corporation license, setting up the stall, lighting and furniture, boards and banners, fire cracker stock and all your expenses including breakfast, lunch, dinner, drinks and conveyance! Please join me, help me and make it a success. With all that extra money I can improve my disc lending library. I will give you all a grand party after the four day sale is over!"

We all nodded in approval. I was working for a Bank those days, and I said I shall take leave on two days when we don't have holidays. Shivanand had his father's Lambretta scooter to go around. He explained that the Bhandarkars keep their shop on Avenue Road open until late hours in the night so that two of us can go at midnight on the scooter, choose the variety of crackers and hire an autorickshaw to get it to our stall, arrange them before sun rise. So, when potential buyers visit the ground, they will find good stock in our stall and naturally tend to buy from us! By the time other stall owners go to the market and get the stock, it will be past 11:00am. That was a brilliant idea, and I agreed with him. I said, I will assist him in buying stock at midnight on all the days.

Shivanand went around with Ganesh in arranging things, getting the license, setting up the stall and fixing the furniture. He got the space allotted for the stall, a 15 feet x 10 feet plinth area in the second row on to the right, as we went down the steps of Ram Mandir ground from Shivanand's shop. A basic tin sheet roofed shed with an end to end counter at the front, a wooden display stand with steps at the center, racks on both sides and at the back to stock crackers. Since it was autumn month and the weather was naturally air conditioned in Bangalore, we didn't worry about the tin sheets getting heated up.

On November 11, as I woke up at 7:30am, I heard Steely Dan cassette of mine playing and the Bhandarkar brothers Dileep and Dinesh were tapping their feet listening to the number 'Bodhisattva'! I met them for the first time, and they were very friendly. They also appreciated my cassette collection. Shivanand told them that I will be the one who is going to join him for purchase of crackers at midnight. The Bhandarkar brothers assured us that they will give their full support and also added that best time would be between 12:00 midnight and 1:30am when they will be present, and there won't be any rush. at 2:00am they close down, they added.

Exactly at 10:00am on November 12, we the 'Magnificent Seven' opened the stall and started our Diwali fire cracker sale! Initial response was a bit slow, as it was a working day, and Bangalorean people are mostly conservative. They buy crackers only on the main Diwali days and skip the first and the last day mostly. However, by late afternoon people started swarming around, going around and comparing the prices at each and every stall!

My prior experience was running a fast food stall at the Ballalbagh Gurji Deepostava Mangalore in 1971, when I and our friends from ‘Blu Moon Sports Club’ had set up a stall selling Charmburi and packed snacks along with Bajal soft drinks. Following the strategy we had worked that day to attract people, I told Shivanand, "We better make two guys stand at the steps of both the entrances to the ground and guide people to our stall. Otherwise many miss out the banners put at the entrance, a few lazy ones will visit the first stall that they see and some known people also may miss ours".

That seemed to work better, and quite a few people expressed their surprise that we have a cracker stall there too! Teenagers and girls were more attracted to us naturally, because we Mangaloreans show personal attention with politeness, making them feel good, that most of the Bangaloreans lack! Some girls even started to hang around at our stall with an excuse to buy some forgotten item, and wouldn't move from our stall for hours, staring at some of us and trying to get friendly! I and Mahendra were attending to the customers, Shivanand finding the items from the stock and presenting them, Ganesh and Jyothiparakash making bills and accepting cash, Kedar and Narayan attracting people at the entrance to the ground and guiding them. That was our style of functioning. We kept rotating duties in the morning, afternoon and evening, so that none of us felt the work monotonous.

After the day's sale is over, at 11:00pm someone would go to Gay Lord, get food and drink for all of us, we would sit behind the display stand on the floor and have our dinner while discussing the funny incidences that happened during the day. Appanna our friend, a Coorgi boy working as waiter at Gay Lord Bar would join us during dinner, and he would also get some special complimentary dish! Past midnight, I would go with Shivanand to Avenue Road by his scooter, enter the godown of Bhandarkars', select whatever we wanted, dump the boxes in an auto and into the leg space of the scooter and bring that to the stall. After the four of us arranged the crackers on the racks and the display stand, two would stay back and sleep in the stall, while two of us returned home at 3:00am to rest!

The amount of profit Shivanand made by selling the crackers, was copious! Shivanand's way of dealing was, buy stock on credit, sell it with 120% margin while the MRP suggested 200%, give further 20% discount to known clients and pocket net 100%. After expenses, he will be left with 80%. He also got discount from Bhandarkar brothers on special items. So that also added up to his profit. Besides, Narayan and Kedar were adept at making totaling mistake or mistake in writing the item prices! Whether it was deliberate or due to bad calculation, they used to say ‘sorry’, correct the mistakes and give further 10% discount, if any customer pointed out! Thus, in 4 days, Shivanand made over 20000/- with an investment of 2000/- Rupees! Our purchase from the Bhandarkars was two to three times a day!

My satisfaction was learning trick of the trade and how to attract customers while selling a perishable item, learning business management from purchase, stock, pricing and sale. We had different pricing according to demand. First and last day we gave 'big discount', while on high days, we kept high margin! When we didn't have a particular item, we never let the customer go back or try at other stalls. We immediately sent someone to get that item from some know persons like Manja of Mayura Crackers. I also spread the word, and many of my relatives and friends staying in nearby areas like Malleshwaram, Mahalaxmi Layout, Peenya, Yashwanthpur, Srirampuram, West of Chord Road, Okalipuram and Mattikere came to buy crackers from our stall. A proud moment for me was when a relative came all the way from Frazer Town with family and bought crackers from our stall! 

The thrill of being recognised by the local people, especially beautiful teen girls, as partner of 'Anand Crackers' was almost like being noted as a movie hero those days! They started smiling and talking to me wherever they met me. Later in 1984 when I had a 'No Entry' case while riding my scooter near Ram Mandir by the Police, couple of locals tried to come to my rescue saying "He is our man sir. Please let him go!” I was served ticket, wrote apology letter at the Rajajinagar Police Station and escaped without paying fine or appearing in court, that's a different story!

Our Diwali Cracker Sale was an explosive hit and a thumping success, but Shivanand dropped the idea of setting up stalls in the succeeding years, as he lost interest in such hardship and risk after he got married. Besides, the two parasites had moved back home to Mangalore, and the 'Magnificent Seven' were reduced to 'Five Man Army'!

ಐ ವಾಂಟ್ ಕನ್ನಡಾ

ಕನ್ನಡ ರಾಜ್ಯೋತ್ಸವ ಸಂದರ್ಭದಲ್ಲಿ ನನ್ನ ನೆನಪಿನ ಪುಟಗಳನ್ನು ಕೆದಕಿ ಈ ಒಂದು ನೈಜ ಅನುಭವವನ್ನು, ಒಂದು ಹಾಸ್ಯಮಯ ಸನ್ನಿವೇಶವನ್ನು ತಮ್ಮೆಲ್ಲರ ಮುಂದಿಡುತ್ತಿದ್ದೇನೆ. ವಿಚಿತ್ರ ಸನ್ನಿವೇಶದಲ್ಲಿ ನಡೆದ ಈ ನೈಜ ಕಥೆಯಲ್ಲಿ ಬರುವ ಸಂಭಾಷಣೆಗಳನ್ನು ಒದಿ ಯಾರೂ ಕನ್ನಡ ಭಾಷೆಯ ಅವಹೇಳನವೆಂದು ಪರಿಗಣಿಸಬಾರದು. ಸ್ವತಃ ಕನ್ನಡಾಭಿಮಾನಿಯಾದ ನಾನು, ಕುಡಿದ ಅಮಲಿನಲ್ಲಿ ಒಬ್ಬರು ಮಾಡಿದ ತಪ್ಪನ್ನು ತಿದ್ದಿ ಅವರನ್ನು ಸರಿದಾರಿಗೆ ತಂದ ಬಗೆಯನ್ನು, ಹಾಗೂ ಎರಡು ಭಾಷೆ, ಎರಡು ಸಂಸ್ಕೃತಿಯಲ್ಲಿ ಬೆಳೆದ ಜನರಲ್ಲಿ ಭಾಷೆಯ ಅಂತರದಿಂದ ದೊಡ್ದ ಅವಾಂತರವಾಗುವುದನ್ನು  ಜಾಣ್ಮೆಯಿಂದ ತಪ್ಪಿಸಿದ ಬಗ್ಗೆ ವಿವರಿಸಿದ್ದೇನೆ. ಕನ್ನಡ ಭಾಷೆಯ ಅಂಧಾಭಿಮಾನ ಸಲ್ಲದು, ವಿಷ್ಲೇಶಣೆ ಅವಶ್ಯ ಎಂದು ಈ ಮೂಲಕ ತಿಳಿಯಪಡಿಸುತ್ತಿದ್ದೇನೆ.
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Pic source: pixabay.com

1979 ಅಕ್ಟೋಬರ್ ಅಥವಾ ನವೆಂಬರ್ ಸಮಯ ಇರಬೇಕು. ದೀಪಾವಳಿ ರಜೆಯಲ್ಲಿ ಮೈಸೂರು ಸುತ್ತಾಡಲು ಪ್ರವಾಸಿಗಳ ಪ್ರವಾಹವೇ ಪ್ರವಾಹ! ನಾನು ಮತ್ತು ನನ್ನ ಇಬ್ಬರು ಆತ್ಮೀಯ ಮಿತ್ರರು ಸುರೇಶ್ ಮತ್ತು ದಯಾನಂದ್ ಇಷ್ಟಪಟ್ಟ ’ಆಶಿರ್ವಾದ್ ಹೋಟಲ್ - ಮೇನಕಾ ಬಾರ್’ ಅದೊಂದು ಶನಿವಾರ ರಾತ್ರಿ 8:00 ಘಂಟೆಗೇ ತುಂಬಿ ತುಳುಕುತ್ತಿತ್ತು.  ದಿನಾ ಕನ್ನಡ ಚಿತ್ರದ ಹಾಡುಗಳನ್ನು ಪದೇ ಪದೇ ಕೇಳಿ ಬೇಸತ್ತ ನಮಗೆ ರೋಸಿ ಹೋಗಿ, ನಾನು ನನ್ನ ಎರಡು ಇಂಗ್ಲಿಷ್ ಹಾಡಿನ ಕ್ಯಾಸೆಟ್‍ಗಳನ್ನು ಮ್ಯಾನೇಜರ್ ಕೈಲಿ ಕೊಟ್ಟೆ.

ನಮಗಂತೂ ಮಾಮೂಲಿ ಗಿರಾಕಿಗಳು ಎಂದು ಬಾರ್ ಕೌಂಟರ್ ಮೂಲೆಯಲ್ಲಿ ಜಾಗ ಕಾದಿರಿಸಿದ ಮ್ಯಾನೇಜರ್ ಶ್ರೀನಿವಾಸ್ ಕನ್ನಡ ಹಾಡು ನಿಲ್ಲಿಸಿ ನನ್ನ ಇಂಗ್ಲಿಷ್ ಹಾಡುಗಳ ಕ್ಯಾಸೆಟ್ ಹಾಕಿ ದೊಡ್ಡ ಧ್ವನಿಯಲ್ಲಿ ’ಡೋನಾ ಸಮ್ಮರ್’ ಹಾಡು ನುಡಿಸಿದ!

ಕೂಡಲೇ ನನ್ನ ಬಲಕ್ಕೆ ಕೂತ ಆಸಾಮಿ ತಟ್ಟನೆ ಎದ್ದು ನಿಂತು ಜೋರಾಗಿ ಕೂಗಿದ "ಐ ವಾಂಟ್ ಕನ್ನಡಾ ಸಾಂಗ್ಸ್! ಐ ವಾಂಟ್ ಕನ್ನಡಾ...!"

"ಅಬೇ ಚುಪ್ ಬೈಟ್ ಬೇ! ಕೌನ್ ಸುನೇಗಾ ತೇರಾ ಕನ್ನಡಾ!" ಮಧ್ಯದ ಟೇಬಲ್ ನಲ್ಲಿ ಕುಳಿತ ಇಬ್ಬರು ಉತ್ತರ ಭಾರತೀಯರು ಗದರಿಸಿದರು!

ನಮ್ಮ ಕನ್ನಡಪ್ರಿಯ ಮಹಾರಾಯ ಅದಾಗಲೇ ಐದನೇ ಪೆಗ್ ಗುಳುಂಕರಿಸಿ ಸರಿಯಾಗಿ ನಿಲ್ಲಲೂ ಮಾತಾಡಲೂ ಆಗದೇ ಮತ್ತೊಮ್ಮೆ ಕ್ಷೀಣ ಸ್ವರದಲ್ಲಿ ಬಡಬಡಿಸಿದ "ಶಟ್ ಅಪ್! ಐ ವಾಂಟ್ ಕನ್ನಡಾ ಮೀನ್ಸ್ ಅರ್ಥಾಗಲ್ವಾ ಅವ್ನಿಗೇ.... ಬೋಸುಡಿ ನನ್ ಮಗ್ನಿಗೇ! ಸುಮ್ಕಿರೋ ಲೋಫರ್ ನನ್ ಮಗ್ನೇ! ಐ ವಾಂಟ್ ಕನ್ನಡಾ..... ಅಣ್ಣಾ... ಶ್ರೀನಿವಾಸಾ.... ಹಾಕಲೋ ಕನ್ನಡಾ ಹಾಡು!"

ನಾರ್ತ್ ಇಂಡಿಯನ್ಸ್ ಜೋರಾಗಿ ಅರಚಿದ್ರು "ಬಾಸ್.... ಲೆಟ್ ಇಟ್ ಪ್ಲೇ. ಡೋಂಟ್ ಲಿಸನ್ ಟು ದೇಟ್ ಈಡಿಯಟ್!"

"ಥ್ಯಾಂಕ್ ಯು ಸರ್. ವೆರಿ ಗುಡ್ ಸೋಂಗ್ಸ್! ಬಿಕೋಸ್ ಓಫ್ ಯೂ, ವೀ ಆರ್ ಸೇವ್ಡ್ ಫ್ರೋಮ್ ಬೋರಿಂಗ್ ಕನ್ನಡಾ ಸೊಂಗ್ಸ್!" ಎಂದು ನನಗೂ ಅಭಿನಂದನೆ ಸಲ್ಲಿಸಿದರು!

ನಮ್ಮ ಪಕ್ಕ ಕುಳಿತ ಆಸಾಮಿ ಹೂಂಕಾರ ಠೇಂಕಾರ ಹಾಕುತ್ತಾ ಬಾಯೊಳಗೇ "ಕನ್ನಡಾ ಕನ್ನಡಾ...." ಎಂದು ಮಣಮಣಿಸುತಿದ್ದ!

ಯಾವುದೋ ದೊಡ್ದ ಕಾಲೇಜ್ ಪ್ರೊಫೆಸರ್ ಉದಯವರ್ಮ ಅಂತೆ. ದಿನಾ ಮೂಗಿನ ವರೇಗೆ ಏರಿಸಿ ನಡೆಯಲೂ ಕಷ್ಟಪಟ್ಟು ಇಬ್ಬರು ಹೊತ್ತುಕೊಂಡು ಹೋಗಿ ಆಟೋರಿಕ್ಶಾದಲ್ಲಿ ಕುಳ್ಳಿರಿಸಿ ಬರುವುದು ಮಾಮೂಲಿ ಕಥೆಯಂತೆ... ಹಾಗಂದ ಶ್ರೀನಿವಾಸ್!

ಹಾಗೇ ನಾನು ಮೆಲ್ಲನೆ ಶ್ರೀನಿವಾಸ್ ಬಳಿ ನಡೆದು ಹೇಳಿದೆ "ಆಣ್ಣಾ....  ಶ್ರೀನಿವಾಸಾ.... ಸಧ್ಯಕ್ಕೆ ಒಂದು ಕನ್ನಡ ಹಾಡು ಹಾಕಪ್ಪಾ... ಅವ್ನಿಗೆ ಸಮಾಧಾನಾ ಆಗ್ಲಿ. ಆ ಮೇಲೆ ತಿರ್ಗಾ ನನ್  ಕ್ಯಾಸೆಟ್ ಹಾಕುವಿಯಂತೆ!"

’ನೂರೀ’ ಫಿಲಮ್ ಹೀರೋ ತರಹ ಕಾಣ್ಬೇಕೆಂದು ಸ್ವಲ್ಪ ದಿನ ಮುಂಚಿತವಾಗಿ ಶೇರ್ವಾನಿ ಸೂಟ್ ಹೊಲಿಸಿ ಮೆರೆಯುತ್ತಿದ್ದ 95 ಕೇಜಿ ತೂಕದ ಟೊಣಪ ಶ್ರೀನಿವಾಸ್ ಮೀಸೆ ತಿರುವುತ್ತ ಅಂದ, "ಡೆಲಿಕೇಟ್ ಸಿಚುವೇಶನ್ ಗುರು! ಎಲ್ಲಾದ್ರೂ ನಿನ್  ಕ್ಯಾಸೆಟ್ ನಿಲ್ಸಿ ಕನ್ನಡಾ ಹಾಡು ಹಾಕಿದ್ರೆ.... ಆ ನಾರ್ತ್ ಇಂಡಿಯನ್ಸ್ ಅಂತೂ ನನ್ನನ್ನಾ ಸೀಳಿ ಕಬಾಬ್ ಮಾಡಿ ಬಿಡ್ತಾರಷ್ಟೆ!"

ನನಗಂತೂ ನುಂಗಲಾರದ ತುತ್ತು! ’ಇತ್ತ ಪುಲಿ ಅತ್ತ ದರಿ’ ಎಂಬಂತಾಯಿತು ಪರಿಸ್ಥಿತಿ. ನಮಗೂ ನನ್ನ ಹಾಡುಗಳನ್ನೇ ಕೇಳಬೇಕೆಂಬ ಹಂಬಲ. ನಾರ್ತ್ ಇಂಡಿಯನ್ಸ್ ನಮ್ಮ ಕಡೆ ಇದ್ದರೂ ಅವರನ್ನು ನಾವಾಗಿ ಸಪೋರ್ಟ್ ಮಾಡೋ ಹಾಗಿಲ್ಲ!

ಫಕ್ಕನೆ ಒಂದು ಐಡಿಯಾ ಫ್ಲೇಶ್ ಆಗಿ, ನಾನು ಪಕ್ಕದವನ ಹೆಗಲಿನ ಮೇಲೆ ಕೈ ಇಟ್ಟು, ಕೂತ್‍ಕೊಂಡು ತಲೆ ಎತ್ತಲು ಕಷ್ಟ ಪಟ್ಟರೂ, ಕೆಂಗಣ್ಣುಗಳಿಂದ ಅತ್ತಿತ್ತ ನೋಡುತ್ತಿದ್ದ ಅವನನ್ನು ಕಣ್ಣಲ್ಲಿ ಕಣ್ಣಿಟ್ಟು ನೋಡಿ ಮೆಲ್ಲಗೆ ಹೇಳಿದೆ "ನೋಡಿ ಸ್ವಾಮಿ, ನಿಮಗೆ ಕನ್ನಡ ಹಾಡು ಕೇಳಲು ಇಷ್ಟ ತಾನೇ! ಅದನ್ನು ಸ್ಪಷ್ಟವಾಗಿ, ನನ್ಗೆ ಕನ್ನಡ ಹಾಡು ಬೇಕು ಎಂದು ಹೇಳೋದು ಬಿಟ್ಟು ಇಂಗ್ಲಿಷ್‍ನಲ್ಲಿ ಐ ವಾಂಟ್ ಕನ್ನಡಾ ಸಾಂಗ್ಸ್ ಅಂದ್ರೆ ಕೇಳ್ತಾರಾ ಯಾರಾದ್ರೂ! ನಿಮ್ಗೆ ತಲೆ ಗಿಲೆ ಸರೀಗಿದೆಯೇನ್ರೀ?"

ಅವನು ಒಂದು ಕ್ಷಣ ಬೆಕ್ಕಸ ಬೆರಗಾಗಿ ನನ್ನನ್ನೇ ದೃಷ್ಟಿಸಿ ನೋಡಿ ಗೋಳೋ ಎಂದು ಅಳುತ್ತಾ ಅಂದ, "ಕ್ಷಮಿಸಿ ಸಾರ್....ತಪ್ಪು ಮಾಡಿದೆ! ತಮ್ಮ ಕಾಲಿಗೆ ಬೀಳ್ತೀನಿ ಸಾರ್! ಬೇಜಾರ್ ಮಾಡ್ಕೋಬೇಡಿ ಸಾರ್! ತಾವು ಮಹಾಜ್ಞಾನಿಗಳು! ನನ್ನ ಕಣ್ಣು ತೆರೆಸಿದ ಅಧ್ಬುತ ವ್ಯಕ್ತಿ ಸಾರ್ ನೀವು! ಇಷ್ಟೊಂದು ಮೂರ್ಖನಂತೆ ನಾನು ’ಐ ವಾಂಟ್ ಕನ್ನಡಾ” ಎಂದು ಬಡಬಡಿಸ್ತಿದೀನಲ್ಲಾ.... ಎಕ್ಕಡಾ ತಕ್ಕೊಂಡು ಹೊಡೀರಿ ಸಾರ್ ನಂಗೆ! ತಪ್ಪು ಮಾಡಿದೆ ಸಾರ್... ತಪ್ಪು ಮಾಡಿದೆ! ಈವಾಗ ನೀವು ಏನಂದ್ರೂ ಕೇಳ್ತೀನಿ ಸಾರ್ ನಾನು!".

ನಾನಂದೆ "ನೋಡಿ ಸಾರ್, ಒಂದು ಸಣ್ಣ ತಪ್ಪು ಮಾಡಿದ್ರಿ. ಅದ್ಕೇ ಯಾರೂ ನಿಮ್ಮನ್ನ ಗಣನೆಗೆ ತಕ್ಕೊಳ್ಳಿಲ್ಲಾ. ಇನ್ನಾದ್ರೂ ಕನ್ನಡ ಭಾಷೆಯ ಮೇಲೆ ಅಭಿಮಾನ ಇಟ್ಕೊಂಡು ಶುದ್ಧ ಕನ್ನಡದಲ್ಲೇ ಮಾತನಾಡಿ. ಆವಾಗ ನಿಮಗೆ ಮರ್ಯಾದೆನೂ ಸಿಗುತ್ತೆ, ನಿಮ್ಮ ಮಾತೂ ನಡಿಯುತ್ತೆ!"

ಮುಂದಿನ ಒಂದು ಘಂಟೆ ಇಂಗ್ಲಿಷ್ ಹಾಡುಗಳನ್ನು ಕೇಳಿ ಆನಂದಿಸಿದೆವು ನಾವು. ಕುಡಿದ ಅಮಲಿನಲ್ಲಿ ತೊದಲುತ್ತಾ ಮಾಲುತ್ತಾ ಇಬ್ಬರು ಹುಡುಗರ ಸಪೋರ್ಟ್‍ನಿಂದ ಹೊರ ನಡೆದ ಗ್ರಾಚಾರ್ಯ... ಅಲ್ಲ ಕ್ಷಮಿಸಿ ಪ್ರಾಚಾರ್ಯ ಉದಯವರ್ಮನನ್ನು ನೋಡಿ ಮುಖ ಮುಖ ನೋಡಿ ಹೊಟ್ಟೆ ತುಂಬಾ ನಕ್ಕೆವು!  ಕೊನೆಗೂ ಆತನಿಗೆ ಇಂಗ್ಲಿಷ್ ಹಾಡುಗಳ ಕ್ಯಾಸೆಟ್ ನನ್ನದೆಂದು ಗೊತ್ತೇ ಆಗಲಿಲ್ಲ!